Bloomberg Admits Election Was An Impulse Buy Near Register At Target

Photo by Gage Skidmore

How many times have we all purchased something as we were waiting in line near the register at the grocery store? Those impulse buys are virtually impossible to resist, and former New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg is no different when it comes to being able to resist an affordable buy as we’re getting ready to check out.

“It was just sitting there staring me in the face,” said Bloomberg. “It’s something I’ve always thought about purchasing, so I figured, why not? Now is as good of time as any to purchase a presidential election and give my ego that one last boost it needs before I check out.”

It’s not known for certain if Bloomberg will be successful in purchasing the presidency, but he’s certainly trying his best. Rumor has it, he saw the presidency staring him in the face at a Manhattan Target, but probably not the midtown one, because those lines actually move pretty quick.

Bloomberg said, “it’s not often I’m in a Target, or for that matter shopping for myself at all, but there I was, and I couldn’t resist putting the election in my basket. It wasn’t until I got home that I noticed I bought into the Democratic primary, but I thought, eh, what the hell?!”

As the election heats up, we’ll know more if this impulse buy by Bloomberg was worth it for him.